Because people have enduring patterns of behavior those with a personality disorder rarely change unless they hit rock bottom and recognize that the way they interact has devastating effects on their careers and their relationships with others. In brief, those with personality disorders rarely change...and managers are always trying to change them thus they waste 80% of their people management time on 20% who are rarely going to help the company progress.
Blaming, excuse making, and refusing responsibility for personal behavior mark a individual with a personality disorder. Other characteristics may include:
- Poor frustration tolerance
- Impulse control problems
- The inability to delay gratification
- Poor self-esteem that may be masked by grandiose thinking or a masochistic effort to please others
- Problems getting along with others
- Obstinacy and inflexibility
- Creating chaos
- Inducing frustration in others
- Poor job performance
- Lack of empathy
- Self absorption
- Behavior blind spots that others can clearly see
- A "poor me" attitude
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Multiple divorces
- Poor relationships with family members
How to manage those with a personality disorder:
- Set limits on inappropriate behavior
- Focus on proper workplace conduct---completion of assigned tasks and consideration of co-worker feelings
- Don't try to change their personality
- Document specific problems
- Allow EAP visits while carefully documenting the help they have been given
- Encourage them to work elsewhere
- After three workplace mistakes take the Jack Welch approach and fire them
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