Worry consumes
time that could be used for productive problem solving, ruins a perfectly good
day, produces procrastination as in "I'm so worried about passing
organic chemistry, I can't study." Worry is negative goal setting. It can generate a self-fulfilling prophesy.
The French philosopher Montaigne
wrote, "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of
which never happened." Most of what we dread never occurs and our
worries only interfere with our ability to solve problems and enjoy
life. Worriers know this, but they still worry.
Worriers
can become productive, happy citizens...and better friends when they work on improving their outlook:
- Write down what you are worried about. If there is something you can do about your worries, do it. If it is a worry over which you have no control, wad the paper and throw it in the trash. Remind yourself that your worries are in the trash.
- Set aside 30-minutes to worry everyday. Sit in a hardback chair in your least favorite room and worry until your brain scrambles. No other worrying allowed the rest of the day: Remind yourself that you have already worried for 30-minutes or that you have a 30-minute worry time scheduled in a few hours.
- If you require constant reassurance remember there is no sure thing. Repeated reassurance makes you dependent on others.
- Become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Embrace doubt by using it to generate positive activity. Just do your best.
- Understand where your worries come from. Were your parents worriers? Have you had a terrible experience in the past? Sometimes just examining the root cause can help. Sometimes it can be even more helpful when you tell yourself, "Mama was a worrier. I hated that about her. I am not going to be like Mama. No worries for me anymore because I want my family to remember me with a smile."
- Practice your ABCDs to change your response to challenges
- A = Activating event. (I have an interview for a better job.)
- B = Belief about the event. Choose: "I'm terrible at interviews" or "I'm going to enthusiastically learn about this position and how I can contribute in my new job." Which statement will give your the best chance to be hired?
- C = Consequences (feelings) of the belief. Worry comes from your belief about an event, not the event itself. Change your belief, have positive feelings.
- D = Doing something about your opportunity. Go for it. Act. Take a risk. Swing for the fences.
- Analyze your fears. You are afraid of airplanes, huh? There is a 0.00001% chance you will die from an airplane crash or to put it another way there is a 99.99998% chance you will survive your flight. You know this, but you are afraid anyway. Why? Figure out the real source of your fear and work on changing the cause, not changing the fear.
- Be aware of your body. A rapid pulse, shortness of breath, sweating give negative feedback to your brain and your brain worries even more and your heart rate increases to a never ending cycle of fear. Take deep breaths. Relax your muscles. Think soothing thoughts.
- Be active. Activity cures worry.
- Listen to relaxing music and relaxing sounds.
- Yoga is a fantastic relaxer.
- Practice meditation or the relaxation response. Look up the techniques.
- Pray daily. Prayer allows you to turn over your worries to a higher power. In my opinion this is the most powerful anxiety fighting technique there is.
- Trust. Trust God. Learn to trust trustworthy people. Turn over some control to others, with caution of course. You have to be comfortable that the other person knows the territory.
- Read the scriptures. Psalm 62:8, Hebrews 4:16, and Proverbs 3:5-7 are especially good for reducing worry. Look them up. Looking for those verses in the Bible will keep you active and help cure worry.
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