Gaze affectionately into the mirror and repeat, "You are so beautiful. You are so wonderful. I love you so." Is that self-love? No, that's narcissism and a psychoanalyst will put you on the couch for that. Besides, you know what happened to Narcissus, don't you? The beautiful Greek youth gazed at his refection in a pool, pined away, and was changed into the flower that bears his name. The psychological term, narcissism, describing a neurotic obsession with one's own person is derived from that story.
Healthy self-love has nothing to do with narcissism. Self-love involves developing our talents while, at the same time, humbly accepting our limitations. Healthy self-love is marked by these characteristics:
- When we love ourselves we appreciate our uniqueness.
- We give up the unfulfilling quest for perfection by accepting our limitations.
- We learn something new each day.
- We work on improving our personality and character.
- We allow our feelings to sparkle with goodwill.
- We laugh often and loudly.
- We feel the joy of daily experiences.
- We fulfill our need for affection and tenderness and bring delight into relationships.
- We cultivate spiritual awareness of the omniscient, omnipresent God who is the source of all love.
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