Communication Begins With Humility

I recently had a chance encounter with a man at a restaurant. As we were waiting to pay a bill, I noticed what I thought to be a swaggering, haughty and pompous attitude.  

Not wanting to lose my position as the most arrogant man in Blacksburg, I boldly importuned, “How are you doing Chief?” with an overbearing tone. 

He quietly replied, “Well I’m hanging in there, doing the best I can, trying to deal with my wife’s cancer.” 

Stunned, I realized that I had completely misjudged this man. I had mistaken his courage for arrogance. I quickly recovered and we had an intimate conversation that was rewarding to both of us. 

In that brief encounter we loved each other.  We reached out to each other in genuine care and concern for the tragedy that comes with being human. 

Driving away from the restaurant I contemplated how many people I encounter each day that are suffering grievous pains of which I am unaware or misperceive. 

Approaching each individual with the expectation to get something from them often prevents us from giving to them and interferes with a personal relationship that strengthens our humanness. 

To be joyful requires that we reach out with care and concern for others rather than trying to grab and get. 

Humility requires that we look after the needs of others before we focus on ourselves. We must be willing to give when others take, love when others hate, help when others suffer. We must give up our own rights to serve others. 

Humility requires paying more attention to those around us, listening to what is said and what is not said and realizing that outward appearances may mask underlying suffering and pain. 

In 1642 John Donne wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself; everyman is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” 

We have reverence for life when we understand that we are connected together. This understanding promotes healthy humility and encourages a harmonious interaction with others. 

When we realize that we cannot exist alone we will reach out to help with kind words and a gentle manner.