Bringing Balance to Life: Refusing Petunia Plucking

Many of us become President of the Petunia Plucking Committee of the Presbyterian Church or Chair of the Bored Boosters of Buda Boots and Bonnets because we don't have the courage to refuse projects that don't interest us. 

Because I never developed fortitude, mettle, backbone, grit, steadfastness and other nouns describing guts I have wasted many hours groaning and moaning about insipid projects that I have allowed myself to be coaxed into joining. 

My latest cowardly act?: President of the Home Owners Association. How's that working out for me? Well I've increased my vocabulary learning British slang like codswallop and gobsmacked. (These are real words; look them up). I've mastered whining. And sloppiness. I've annoyed some homeowners and disappointed others. And hours upon hours have evaporated down the disposal of disappearing dreams.  

Here's some things I've learned from my irresolute behavior. I'm beyond rehabilitation, but perhaps they will help you:    

• Wasting time volunteering for activities that we don't enjoy engenders resentment, irritability, sloth, and inanity. 
• If we don't control our allotment of time, someone else will.
• Sometimes we say "yes" in an attempt to have people like us. 
• At other times needless guilt causes us to say "yes" to time-wasting projects.
• If our values are correct conserving time for our aspirations will help more people than a project we don't enjoy.
• It's better to be respected than liked.

I've written on two 3 x 5 cards ways that I can respond when someone asks me to join a project that doesn't interest me: 

• "Wow! That's a worthwhile project. I'm honored that you would ask me to participate. Unfortunately, because of other time pressing commitments I'll have to decline. I wish you well. Good-bye."
• "That project sounds great. I bet you will do well with it. One of the things I've learned through the years is what I can and can't do. My getting involved would be a waste of your time. No thank you. Best wishes on your project. Good bye."

When we say "no" with refinement we show respect for the other person. And we treat ourselves with respect. A polite "no" says, "I have dreams and goals. I know the things I want and I'm going after them."

Make a list of what's important to you:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTLF76zLxYA