Avoiding enmeshment requires that we assume responsibility
for ourselves while rejecting responsibility that belongs to others. While we can control our thoughts and
actions, we cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. When we rescue others—when we enable
others—we prevent them from learning from their own mistakes—we retard their
emotional and spiritual growth. When we
assume responsibility for another’s mistakes or bad choices, we cultivate a
dependency that prevents the other person from growing emotionally,
intellectually and spiritually. Because
they have never had to suffer the consequences of their behavior, dependent
people lack a sense of competence or completeness. Without a sense of identity, they define
themselves solely by their relationships.
To put it more simply, we turn people into babies when we try to rescue
them from their mistakes.
How true...for grandparents, for spouses, for friends. But not for doctors, whose job is often to rescue people from their mistakes in smoking, in drug addiction, in diet, in sedentary choices??? -Bill
ReplyDeleteThat's true. We help them. We educate them. We give them options and recommendations. We let them make thier choices. That's all we can do as doctors.
ReplyDelete