Walking Forward by Thinking Backward

In Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Alice asks the Cheshire Cat, "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?
The Cheshire Cat responds, “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don't much care where,” said Alice.

“Then it doesn't matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“So long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

When you're trying to move forward, the journey is much easier if you become very clear about where you want to go. Here's one way to discover where you want to go:
Write down three things you want written on your tombstone and then start living the way you want to be remembered. 

Word Power

If words are the most powerful destiny shaper that we control---and they are---then by governing the words that come out of our mouths, we can have a better chance of having a fulfilled life. Learn to see something positive in everything that happens:

• Speak hopeful words. 
• Never miss an opportu­nity to praise others. 
• Find and speak the good in every situation. 
• Show appreciation at every opportunity. 
• Speak encouraging words. 
• Use positive words to become all you can be. 
• Speak positive words to boost your confidence.

Positive speech is not designed to detract from your faith. Positive talk enhances your faith. Read the Bible. All of God's courageous leaders spoke positively----espe­cially about the future.

Day by Day in Everyway

Emile Coue, the pioneer of autosuggestion, coined the phrase: Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better. I feel healthy. I feel happy. I feel terrific.

He asked patients to repeat this phrase throughout the day. Those who followed his suggestion worried less, became more optimistic, and had a brighter mood.

Words are a tremendous energy source. Negative words induce negative results; positive words produce positive results.

Check yourself. Listen consciously to everything you verbalize. Does most of your self-talk build you up or put you down? Would you type the words you say about yourself into your computer as lifelong directives?

Here is the good news: The unconscious mind cannot tell a lie from the truth so when we speak positively (even if we don’t believe the positive words) we become more positive.

The Perfect Ride

For my daily devotion I read the passage in Matthew about Jesus admonishing his followers to "Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect."
How can that be? We can't be perfect. That's impossible.

Later that day I watched my son as he helped his daughter ride a bicycle. Brad held onto the bicycle handles and walked beside Annie as she wobbled along. When she toppled, he caught her. As he encouraged her she became more efficient until he was running along holding the bicycle seat to stabilize her. Finally Brad let go of the seat as Annie peddled along. When she fell, Brad was there to pick her up and comfort her.

We gradually learn about spiritual perfection because God loves us and holds us up as we topple, fall, and get back up to try again. That's as close as I can come to understanding what Christ meant about being perfect. If we are going to live the life that Christ desires for us we must perfectly surrender our self-centered desires and let Christ hold us, guide us, and comfort us as we struggle along life's path.

Perfecting Tolerance for Imperfection

My good friend, William T. Hendricks, Jr., MD, says he helps perfectionists give up their punishing pursuits by telling them, "You have to learn to perfect your tolerance for imperfection." In other words, "Learn to put up with your imperfections in such a way that you become perfect at accepting your mistakes and flaws."

There are several ways perfectionists can tolerate their mistakes. Byron Katie in her book, Loving What Is suggests an approach used in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. For example, you tell yourself, "I must make an A on every exam if I want to get into the graduate school of my choice." Here's how to counter that absurd statement:

1. Is the statement "I must make an A on every exam if I want to get into the graduate school of my choice" a true statement?
2. Can you be absolutely certain the statement is true?

• An A on every exam?
• Who specifically told you that?
• What makes you think that?
• Where did you learn that?
• When did you learn that?
• How do you know?
• Are your feelings based on facts?
• Will your thinking help protect your life and health?
• Will your thoughts help you avoid conflicts with others?
• Will your thinking help you feel the emotions you want to feel?

3. What happens when you have that thought? Choose several responses: I get uptight. I become anxious. I get frustrated. I can't enjoy my life. I become depressed. I study all the time. I neglect my friends….and on and on………

4. Who would you be without the thought? Would you be happier? Would you be more relaxed so you could study more efficiently? Would you have more time with your friends? Would you be more confident? What else would happen?
5. Turn the statement around by saying, "I don't have to make an A on every exam to get into the graduate school of my choice."
6. Give three genuine examples of how the turnaround is true. Here are some examples:

• Snerdly got into the school I want to go to and he had a 3.0 average.
• Only three students out of 4,601 seniors had a perfect 4.0 GPA last year so that many students got into graduate schools without making all As.
• Trying to make a 4.0 GPA for four years will hurt my chances of getting into graduate school because I won't have time to develop other interests that graduate schools use to accept students.