A Childlike Mind

Last week I wrote that Holes was one of my favorite movies. My most favorite movie of all time is The Princess Bride. 

Those who enjoy these type movies would have to have, I think, a childlike mind--a mind that is innocent, naive, open, nonjudgemental, frolicsome. I don't know. Because that sounds like someone who would like science fiction that I find boring.

I could care less who wins between Superman and Batman; who avenged who, and what tape will self-destruct in five seconds. My grandchildren were gobsmacked when I went to sleep in the last Star-Wars especially since the sound never dropped below 120 decibels throughout the movie.  It certainly doesn't seem like I have a childlike mind if you have to like one of those shows to qualify.

So I can't tell you why I enjoy The Princess Bride so much, but I do. Maybe it's because of all the memorable one liners:

• Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
• As you wish.
• Inconceivable!
• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
• I'm not a witch. I'm your wife.
• Mawidge. That bwessed awangement!
• I love you was what it was but you never heard.
• There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C. And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy... Well, this one left them all behind. 
• When I was your age, television was called books.
• Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.
• Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high (In the book, not the movie.)
• True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. (Book.)
• Cynics are simply thwarted romantics. (Book).
• The Pit of Despair
• Get used to disappointment.
• Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world except for a nice MLT--mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich. 
• They're kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?
• Have fun storming the castle.
• It'll take a miracle.
• You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
• You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
• Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
• It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
• We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill.
• You mean you put down your rock and I'll put sown my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people.
• You have a great gift for rhyme.

If you haven't seen the movie the above quotes probably mean absolutely nothing to you. If you have seen the movie (or read the book) I may have left out your favorite. 

Either way may you live long and prosper. Oops wrong movie. 

If Only, If Only

If only, if only is a line sung in the 2003 comedy-adventure movie Holes starring Jon Voight, Sigourney Weaver and Shia LaBeouf about a wrongfully convicted boy sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he joins the job of digging holes for some mysterious reason.

It's one of my top ten movies of all time. I have watched it a half-dozen or so times and am delighted with each viewing.

I was discussing decision making with a friend recently. We both agreed that some decisions produce rotten results. If only, if only began ringing in my mind.

We make decisions using several different techniques:

1. The Ben Franklin technique--draw a line down the middle of a page with Pros on one side of the line and Cons on the other.
2. Value decision making--listing the things that we most value as a way to choose.
3. Another aid in choosing: The aspiration technique written about by Agnes Callard, a philosophy professor at University of Chicago in her book Aspiration: The Agency of Becoming. She suggests that we make choices based on who we desire to become. We leave the old behind to create and discover a new self.

Unfortunately I often fail to use any of these techniques. I make decisions impulsively. This unwise technique has caused my mind to be bombarded with "if onlys" as harshly as the furies pursued Orestes. 

Regret is an intemperate and self-indulgent imposition that empties our spirit, similar to digging holes in the desert.  I am powerless over the mistakes I have made therefore I have asked God to remove those regrets from my mind so I can discover a new self. I aspire to be kinder to myself.  

The Butterfly of Hope

When I was 6-years old we lived in Wharton, Texas. Every Saturday morning I would sit in front of the radio listening to the Lone Ranger--"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty 'Hi-yo Silver'";  Sky King--"From out of the clear blue of the western Sky comes Sky King"; Sergeant Preston of the Yukon--"On King! On, you huskies!"

My favorite was Big Jon and Sparky--"an elf from the land of make-believe who wanted more than anything to be a real boy!" I only remember one episode from that program and that had to do with an adaption of the Greek myth about the first woman Pandora, a lovely, shy maiden whose name means "the gift of all."

The gods lavished her with gifts, bright garlands of blooming flowers, silvery raiment, a crown of gold. To test her faithfulness Zeus presented her with a golden chest emblazoned with diamonds and pearls that unbeknownst to her held all the harmful things of the world. Zeus admonished her never to open the shimmering trunk.

Pandora possessed a lively curiosity. The desire to know overcame her. She opened the box. Out flew dark spirits, hideous effigies of plague, famine, rape, pillage, pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth, sorrow and mischief for all mankind.

In terror Pandora rushed to clamp down the lid. Just before the chest closed out swirled the butterfly of hope.

Hope, our comfort in misfortune, the sustainer in the midst of trouble, that which brings the expectation of fortunate events has been described by Emily Dickinson as "the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops at all;" and by Pope as that "which springs eternal."

The swallow as the first bird to appear at the start of spring, the anchor that holds things in place and the dove that brought the olive branch to Noah have been symbols of hope, but I will always think of hope as a butterfly with gossamer wings that flits around me, a motif for the Holy Spirit that encourages and comforts me.

Memories of Wharton, Texas fade away save one: that of a little boy shuddering from all the evil spirits that had escaped from Pandora's box... and then delighted by the butterfly that offers hope to us all.

The Cycle of Accelerated Returns

I have been taking online guitar lessons from Andy Crowley and found an interesting graphic in his complementary book, Beginners Guitar Book called the Cycle of Accelerated Returns.

I had never heard this term before reading Andy's book and I thought perhaps that you hadn't either so I attached the graphic.

This concept contains common sense: the more you practice, the better you get, but I had never seen the idea conceptualized this way.

We learn best through practice and repetition. The medical school maxim: "see one, do one, teach one" holds true in just about every learning process.

We learn by doing.

Initially learning something new is a grind. Tedious. Boring. Wearisome. Frustrating. Irksome.

The exasperation we face in the initial stage of learning toughens our minds as we learn to delay gratification. Persistence will lead to improvement making it easier to practice. The improved skill makes practicing more interesting that causes us to want to practice longer that increases skill and you have joined the cycle.

The key to merging with the Cycle of Accelerated Returns is persistence. The most certain way to success is to try one more time.

So how am I doing with the guitar lessons? Well... I'm enjoying the process and practicing longer so I must be on that cycle although I still can't play that F barre cord.

A Steadfast Tribute

In 1893 my maternal great-grandfather helped build the Lynn Grove Methodist that was rebuilt in 1948 by my grandfather in conjunction with other congregants. 

Austin Cut Stone endows the exterior of the sanctuary. The pulpit built by my great-grandfather remains impervious to time’s wear. Behind the pulpit an embellished stained glass window of Jesus walking on water pointing heavenward attests to God’s glory while below etched on a bronze plate the names of three soldiers lost to the community during WW II reflect the frailty of man.  

Grandfather became Superintendent of the Sunday School when he was 18-years old and continued in that capacity until shortly before his death at the age of 86. A life-long learner open to all ideas and a social liberal, he remained a steadfast Methodist who insisted that God’s grace acts on man to prepare him to receive repentant grace and rejected any theology that did not make man’s actions central.

While time eventually erodes all exteriors well-founded convictions can remain resolute.

What is Dialectic Behavior Therapy?

Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) is the amped, bumped, pumped, jacked, e-ticket ride to mental health. It is a hot topic at social gatherings. Everybody is talking about it. Everybody is using it. And rightfully so.

Well-designed evidence-based research has shown that DBT effectively treats borderline personality disorder, depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety.

But what is it? How does it work? DBT aims to help patients recognize maladaptive behavior and choose more effective ways to manage personal conflicts and stress.

Dialectic or dialectics is a fancy way to describe how discussions regarding different points of view can lead to a deeper, better, improved way of thinking about conflicts. 

Remember Socrates from freshman philosophy? He ambled around ancient Greece exposing false beliefs by asking a bunch of questions. These questions helped people think more clearly. DBT uses the Socratic method to understand and change maladaptive behavior. 

The therapist is a kind, gentle ally who accepts and validates the patient's feelings while at the same time, through a series of non-confrontational questions, helps the patient find better ways to manage feelings.

Let me be more specific by discussing five major elements to DBT: 

1. Corrective Emotional Response: A trustworthy therapist who demonstrates non-possessive warmth (love without controlling behavior) and genuine respect for the patient helps the patient correct a distorted view of his/herself that enables the patient to learn self-soothing behavior. 

2. Meditation and relaxation techniques to manage stress. 

3. The patient practices changing thoughts to have better feelings. For example if a patient says, "Everybody hates me" the therapist may respond with these questions:

• Really?
• Everybody? 
• Who told you that?
• Where did you learn that?
• How do you know?
• When did you discover that?
• What makes you say that?
• Can you name a specific person who hates you?

4. Improving Responses to Day-to-Day Events: The patient keeps a daily journal that records events, feelings and thoughts generated by daily events. The therapist asks a series of questions to enable the patient to learn better ways of handling conflict.

5. Developing Emotional Skills: Through a series of questions the therapist explores the what, where, when, why, and how of conflict and stress. The therapist teaches skills to deal with stress and interpersonal conflict in the following areas: 

• Evaluation of distorted thinking: The patient is helped to see different viewpoints in a conflict. 
• Dealing with stress: The patient learns to manage emotions that are triggered by distressing events, including those that cannot be immediately resolved. 
• Dealing with interpersonal conflict: The therapist teaches the patient to maintain healthy relationships. The patient learns that certain rules of society must be followed to get along in the world and to break social, ethical, and moral rules leads to self-destruction. The therapist helps the patient find ways to fulfill emotional needs while allowing others to fulfill their needs.
• Developing emotional stability: The therapist may respond to maladaptive behavior by asking  a set of questions:
• What are you thinking (or doing) right now? 
• Is what you are thinking (or doing) helping you?  
• What thoughts (or actions) can help you feel better about yourself? (Several options may be formulated until the best solution is discovered.) 
• Will you commit to changing your thoughts (or actions)? 
• How will you demonstrate that you have committed to change?

As I was writing this article I began to realize that these techniques could help me improve my response to day-to-day events. Indeed it may help all of us to question our thoughts and actions and thus learn to respond to stress in a more beneficial way. 

False Arguments

One or two of you may find what is written below interesting. Most of you would do well to skip this claptrap.

On the first and third Monday of every month I meet with three highly intelligent people to discuss theology books. Boring yes, but in Appalachia other choices are limited to a pool game or a meth party. 

During yesterday's discussion I asked a question that received no answer so I did some research that lead to some random thoughts. I put those thoughts into an email that I sent to my friends. Here is what I wrote:

Yesterday I asked what an argument based on a false premise is called. Well…it’s called--duh--a false premise. 

I read the following in an Wikipedia article about a false premise that I thought was interesting:

"A false premise is an incorrect proposition that forms the basis of an argument. Since the premise (proposition, or assumption) is not correct, the conclusion drawn may be in error. 

"For example, consider this syllogism, which involves a false premise:

• If the streets are wet, it has rained recently. (premise)
• The streets are wet. (premise)
• Therefore it has rained recently. (conclusion)

"This argument is logically valid, but quite demonstrably wrong, because its first premise is false - one could hose down the streets, the local river could have flooded, etc. A simple logical analysis will not reveal the error in this argument, since that analysis must accept the truth of the argument's premises. For this reason, an argument based on false premises can be much more difficult to refute.

"Another feature of an argument based on false premises that can bedevil critics, is that its conclusion can in fact be true. Consider the above example again. It may well be that it has recently rained and that the streets are wet. This does nothing to prove the first premise, but can make its claims more difficult to refute." 

The point is this: when we discuss books, ideas or concepts we need to keep in mind that many of the arguments we read or hear are based on a false premise.

Another problem is an ad hominem fallacy that is directed against a person rather than the position the person maintains. Facebook debates are filled with ad hominem arguments.

Another fallacy is post hoc ergo propter hoc —"after this, therefore because of this” whereby people confuse an association with a cause. This fallacy is often found in longitudinal medical studies and causes a NY Times heading one year saying “Coffee Causes Cancer” and the next year “Coffee Prevents Cancer.”

This post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy also means that just because I associate with you smart guys does not mean that I am smart. I just write things like this to cause you to to think I am smart.

Heart Calling

I have been taking online guitar lesson from Andy Crowley. This Brit dude is a fantastic instructor and in my view he offers the absolute best way to learn the guitar.... And many of his lessons are absolutely free.

But free guitar lessons are not what I want to write about here. Instead, I want to make an observation on one of the asides Andy made during his instruction on playing power cards.

Andy said that he became infatuated with learning to play the guitar as a six-year old when he saw the movie, Back to the Future. His heart flipped when Marty McFly said to the band, "Alright guys, this is a Blues riff in B, watch me for the changes and try to keep up. OK?"

From that day on Crowley's heart was set on learning the guitar.

Many times the correct choices we make go way back to our childhood. Our heart tells us so.

Likewise our heart often helps us make the right choices when we are adults.

Many brain neurotransmitters are also found in the heart. Can our heart think better than our brain? I don't know.... But when the heart calls it's a good idea to listen.

Resolutions

Emptying an cobwebbed filing cabinet I found tucked away in a dusty folder a 4X6 index card with RESOLUTIONS 1965 in bold red pencil at the top of the card. Here were the commitments of a 21-year old 54 years ago: 

1.  Pray for guidance in life, for love, thanks for what I have, etc.
2.  Read Bible & have daily devotions
3.  Go to church both morning and evening
4.  Participate actively in M.S.M. (I can't remember what M.S.M. was)
5.  Try to become more sincerely interested in others; show a sincere love of life. Let happiness show.
6.  Attend school functions, especially Invitation to Learning
7.  Study vocabulary nightly
8.  Study faster and more efficiently
9.  Read Time Magazine weekly
10.  Do exercises nightly

Much later when our children were teenagers we would gather every New Year Eve to write our goals for the next year. We divided the goals into career (school) goals, self-improvement goals and spiritual goals. We sealed the goals in an envelop and would open them the next New Year Eve to see how we did.

I had always been a big written goal setter until 10 years ago. Interesting!? I have been sort of floundering since then. Maybe I should write some.