Sarcasm Isn't Funny

Humor has three levels: sarcasm, belly-laugh humor and cosmic humor. 

Sarcasm, a passive-aggressive, hostile and destructive humor, disparages relationships and should be avoided at all times. 

I see men using this with their wives all the time. They are attempting to show affection, but sarcasm has the opposite effect. 

Because sarcastic remarks penetrate the unconscious as hostile, they diminish self-esteem and interfere with a loving relationship. 

Statements like "I'd rather bring my wife to the convention than kiss her good-bye" or "I've had 12 happy years of married life that is not bad for 28 years of marriage" might be funny to some but they are terribly damaging to relationships. 

Claiming that your son, "... would get into a fight in an empty room," estab­lishes negative expectations.

Only people with a high self esteem and utmost confidence should use self-denigrating remarks. Be careful when using statements like "I don't want to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members" because self-denigrating remarks can rein­forces a negative view of self. 

Bottom line: Avoid sarcasm and ridicule. 

I will write about laughter and cosmic humor later.

Come Let Us Reason Together

I’m not a political person. Sadly, the political bickering and name calling that pervades the news cycles and Internet have galled me into writing something. 

Before the harangue let me begin with these thoughts: 

• No one wins an argument. To open a discussion, use the Benjamin Franklin approach: It seems to me...and I could be wrong...that (state your opinion). If your friend counters with a knee-jerk response such as “Obama is a Muslin” or “Trump is a traitor” excuse yourself politely and move on because there is no room for sincere, openminded dialogue. 
• Listen and learn from the other person. Remember all of us want three things—love, joy and peace. We just go about getting it in different ways. Learn about those differences. Listening does not mean you agree with the other person. Instead listening teaches you how others think. 
• When I point a finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back to me. (Judge not that thou be not judged.) 
• When I abhor a character trait, I usually have that trait. Example: I loathe arrogance, but I am often haughty, vain, pompous, condescending, disdainful. Hint: When you feel negatively about someone ask yourself if you have that same trait deep in your heart. 
• Be open-minded. All beliefs have some truth in them. 
• Before posting on Facebook or Twitter or any other Internet source remember that negative comments mark you as a bitter complainer and bite back. If you are angry go out and split logs.
• Before you write an Email ask yourself if you would want 7.5 Billion people to read it. 
• If you read hostile comments laugh because most negative comments are so ridiculous that they are funny.  

I began this essay thinking I would write a couple of warnings before going into a tirade on political beliefs but to continue would make my entry too long. Tune in Thursday (if you are so inclined) for the conclusion.

Steps to a Fulfilled Life

Here are the steps to a fulfilled life:

Put God first in our lives. Daily prayer and Bible study gives us a foundation for a life filled with love, joy and peace. We all can aim to please God in everything we do.

Understanding ourselves by knowing our strengths and weaknesses can allow us to develop our true talents. I always ask job applicants to tell me their strengths and weaknesses. One applicant reported that they had no weaknesses. No weaknesses, really?! No weaknesses, no job.

Being Cool under pressure--grace under pressure--

comes from managing disruptive emotions by controlling our anger, pessimism and cynicism.

A dream is just a wish if we if we fail to ask ourselves the crucial questions: 1) Are my activities allowing me to fulfill my dreams?; 2) What's important now that takes me toward my dreams?; 3) Am I confusing activity with achievement? 

Motivation comes from an overwhelming ambition and the belief that we can achieve our dreams. Without ambition and without belief we will never become all that God intended for us to become.

Winning friends and influencing people is much more that a winsome smile, a warm handshake and a shoeshine. We must be interested in others and realize that all others are children of God. We can learn from everyone from the poorest pauper to the most powerful prince. All we have to do is to ask questions. 

We can try to learn what motivates each person we meet. Understanding what motivates others allows us to help them get what they want.

Understand that evil dominates the world we live in so that we can watch our steps so as not to be bitten by a serpent. 

We must persist by trying one more time. Wisdom demands that we change tactics from time to time but we should never, never, never give up in pursuing our dreams. 

We must value the usefulness of failure, the fun of challenge and the importance of hard work.

What's Normal?

A normal person is one who can love, work, and enjoy recreation while allowing others to pursue happiness.

People with anxiety, depression, bipolar or other psychiatric illnesses are "normal" if they can love, work and enjoy recreation while allowing others to pursue happiness. 

Normal does not mean a life free from problems.

Conflict can produce emotional growth.

What seems good to us is not always what is best for us. 

Enough stress will “crack” anyone.

Success or failure does not equal normal.

Those who are extremely successful in one arena may lack balance in all other areas of life.