An Antidote for Snark, Mockery and Bitterness

Alan Jacobs in his book, How to Think, gives reasons for a polarized world:

·     When some people hear a word or phrase such as conservative or liberal their thought can be directed against the person rather than the position they maintain (ad hominem fallacy). 

·     Some group members may treat other people unfairly if they don’t belong to their group.

·     Some treat people who disagree with them as nonhuman.

·     Some people have such animus toward those who disagree with them that their hatred disables their ethical and practical judgment.

·     Some treat others as so obviously wrong that mockery prevails over reasonable discussion.

·     In any group an inner ring (a term coined by C.S. Lewis) may form. We may respond to an alluring desire to belong to the inner ring. The desire to be inside the special group and the fear of being left out may cause decent men to do very bad things. Examples:A gang member enticed to murder to join the inner group.A fraternity member may be pressured to participate in egregious hazing.

·     Some people use reason alone (paralysis by analysis) to make decisions without taking into account the feelings of others. Over thinking may restrict their ability to treat others with warmth, kindness and gentleness.

·     Others respond to their feelings of repulsion without considering why they feel repulsed.

·     When facts change some people have so much invested in their opinions that they refuse to change their minds. This way of thinking is called the sunk fallacy and can be seen in gambling halls where losers keep betting and in the stock market where investors keep pumping more money into a useless stock. 

·     Some intellectuals use hard words (an obscure vocabulary) and convoluted sentences to prove they understand hard things. They usually, not always, have no clue, but they prevent reasonable discussion because no one can understand them.

The Triumph of Reason 

These are the marks of reasonable people:

·     Those who think rationally have a respect for the convictions of others.

·     Reasonable people are willing to examine their motives for believing what they believe.

·     Because most of us don't know what we don't know, reasonable people seek friends who can be brutally honest about our deficiencies.

·     Reasonable people attempt to learn from those with whom they disagree.

·     Those who use reason to form opinions have the courtesy to reflect back what a person has said and only when the other agrees that his summation is correct can he then proceed to discuss what he thinks followed by generously listening to feedback.

·     A rational person combines analysis with feelings to produce meaningful action. Wise people are well rounded--they read poetry and novels, go to movies, art museums, plays and listen to a wide range of music. They attend sporting events and automobile shows. They are constantly learning and expanding their horizons. Intellectual pursuits alone tend to wear away feelings.

·     Those who use reason to form opinions enjoy social interaction with a wide range of people including those who disagree with them.They treat others with respect and are generous toward the motives and opinions of others.

·     Reasonable people think clearly and talk plainly. They can succinctly summarize their ideas in words that just about everybody can understand.

·     When facts change rational people change their minds.

·     When faced with provocation reasonable people take a few minutes or a day or two to calm down before making a response, Using this phrase, perhaps: “Let me think about what you said.” 
Reasonable people after listening carefully and humbly may alter their positions somewhat (or they may not). Nonetheless, they possess the courage of their convictions and express them kindly with good will to all. 

Rational people seek to know more, work toward understanding others better, and strive to become useful to those they encounter.