This May Help You Develop Instantaneous Rapport with Others or It May Make You Seem Ridiculosly Foolish

Sometimes I tell people, “I’m a redneck Texan with a very thin veneer of culture.” 

I especially use this self-deprecating remark with stuffy people, the pompous, the high and the mighty. It's a good way to relax those who feel intimidated or nervous. Or when people are uptight. It stops hubris when I become fascinated by my own perceived self-importance. 

Self-deprecating humor can breakdown barriers and pull people closer together. It shows how confident and comfortable we feel in our own skin and indicates an easy going, fun loving outlook on life. 

A joke with a punch line can relieve tension, but the best type of humor builds bonds. Here are some unifying examples:

• I often tell my patient’s, “In a few weeks you will begin to feel better, but don’t stop taking your medicine because if you do you will have a relapse.” I then add, “Actually I hope you will stop your medicine because you will have a relapse and return to see me so often that I will make a lot of money and keep my wife living the way she has grown accustomed.” Their laughter makes them more likely to continue taking their medicine. 
• With a friend who is direction challenged I say, “I have to be careful when I don’t know where I am going because I might get there.” 
• When a patient says that he is afraid to tell me some things I reply, “I don’t blame you. I scare myself every time I look in the mirror.” 
• When a neighbor commented on a bare spot in my lawn I said, “I forgot to plant the grass green side up.” 
• I work out with two “animals” who can lift four times as much as I can. To stop my inferiority complex I once told them, “I am really proud of my progress. Within a few months I will be lifting more than a 79-pound anorexic.” 
• When patients comment on all the diplomas on my office wall I tell them, “I bought the whole package for $19.99 at Wal-Mart.” 

You may feel uncomfortable using self-deprecating humor, but it works for me. I've found that it almost always improves rapport with business associates, customers, patients, friends, relatives, neighbors, arrogant snobs, and hostile acquaintances.