The Meaning of Suffering: Growing From Adversity

Problems, trials, adversities, and challenges are a part of life. We can’t avoid them. Most of us encountered challenges when we moved from elementary school, to middle school, and on to high school. Perhaps we had a difficult teacher or administrator. Peer pressure may have reduced us to tears. Or a particularly difficult class stressed us. A move to a new city, state, or country may have devastated us. Perhaps we were cut from the basketball team or didn’t get the part we wanted in the school play.

It is easy to get caught up in the self-pity, why me, unfairness of life trap. Some dropped out of school when they felt the challenges were too great. Or they may have quit the basketball team. Others responded angrily to adversity causing increasing conflicts. Still others used drugs or alcohol as an escape from problems.

Those who endured and overcame the challenges they faced became successful adults, productive citizens, and nurturing parents. When they reached adulthood the experience of overcoming stressful events enabled them to meet new adverisites such as job stress, financial worries, relationship challenges. Here are some of the ideas and traits successful children learn and develop:

• Children who thrive realize that life presents challenges. A parent, a teacher, or a coach has taught them that adversities enable a person to demonstrate the emotional toughness they otherwise may never have discovered. As the football coach says, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down that counts. It’s how many times you get back up.”
• Successful children (and adults) get over the self-pity trap by replacing self-defeating and unproductive thoughts with positive thoughts: I can do it. I am developing successful habits. If they did it so can I. Courage is doing something even when I am afraid of it. I like challenges. This makes me stronger. I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. 
• Effective children learn to cope with problems by developing a sense of responsibility—doing homework on time, cleaning their room, obeying their parents. They don’t make excuses. They don’t blame others.
• Fortunate children cultivate a support system of family and friends. Parents can share those difficulties they survived as a child. They can give a little push that gives confidence to a child. Parents encourage. Instead of rescuing their child, they let their child suffer school problems and peer pressure so the child will grow into a resilient adult. Friends too can give support. Older siblings can share their secrets of surviving.
• Prayer and scripture study can bolster confidence by revealing God’s unconditional love.
• Inspirational stories can encourage persistence and endurance. For example, basketball great Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team when he was in the 10^th grade. He kept practicing and now he is a living legend

When we respond positively and constructively to adversity, we develop strength, courage, and self-confidence that enables us to deal with the increasing challenges we face throughout life. We can overcome the problems--the suffering--that life brings.