Meaningless Conflicts

Many successful people have a "neurotic" personality. The characteristics are:

• Take on more and more tasks
• Have a difficult time saying "no"
• Strive to please others
• Base their self-worth on the opinion of others

Many unsuccessul people have a personality disorder characterized by:

• Failure to assume responsibility for their own welfare
• Blame others for their problems
• Make excuses for their inappropriate behavior
• Don't think they have a problem 
• Instead they think someone who is trying to help them or put limits on them has the problem

"Neurotics" respond to those with personality problems by:

• Geting frustrated with the personality disordered individual
• Tending to blame themselves for failures of the personality disorder
• Try harder and harder to correct the behavior of the personality disordered
• Rescue the personality disordered over and over again
• Get sick, anxious, depressed, agitated, and worried while the personality disordered enjoys life as long as the "neurotic" lets them alone

This neurotic-personality disorder conflict is most often found in dysfuctional parent-child relationships.

When the "neurotic" allows the personality disordered to wallow in his/her own irresponsible behavior--flunk out of school, pay for their own room and board, buy their gasoline and pay for automobile care, go to jail--more socially appropriate behavior may develop. He or she may stop drinking or using drugs, study and complete school work, find more responsible friends, and get a job. They might even turn into a "neurotic."