Aging's No Fun…Except

My shoulder popped. Rotator cuff. Doing push ups and it popped. This doesn't happen, not to me. Regular work outs would prevent injury, keep me strong and supple. Not so.

I should have known. Face sagging. A turkey chin. Skin wrinkling. Belly growing.

Motivation decreases too. I had rather sit than exercise or write.

Is this really happening. Yes. Everything is fading.

Except one thing. As we age we advance toward heaven where we will experience overwhelming joy. With each new month. No each new day, we move toward ever lasting peace, and unimaginable love. And new bodies too, the Bible promises.

All of us can take courage in these words:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly  we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day….So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 16, 18

Build Your Dream

You can start to dream with a vision statement---a phrase or sentence that tells what you are about. Here's an example of a vision statement: "I live a life that will bring encouragement, optimism and hope to all I meet." Note that the statement is in the first person, present tense indicating that the future begins now.

As you consider your vision statement, be certain you're using your own measuring stick-not your mother's, or father's, or your wife's, or your husband's, or your friend's. What do you want out of life? What's important to you? What are you about?

Here are some questions to help define your vision statement. As you answer these questions you'll be able to understand what motivates you:

• What three activities are most important to you?
• What three activities give you the most enjoyment?
• What three things do you want written on your tombstone?
• What three things do you want to do for others?
• What three things would you change about your life?
• What three qualities would you most like to see associated with your reputation?

  Make a dream list here:

Now study everything you have written so far.  Sum up, in one or two sentences, a concise description of who you want to be. Write your vision statement in the first person, present tense.

I am a person who:

Formulating a vision statement and writing down those things you desire helps you focus on your plea­sures, your talents, and your bliss. Once you've expand­ed your vision, your expectations will direct you toward fulfilling your dreams.

It helps to put your dream statement on the refrig­erator. Read it regularly. Cut out pictures of the things you want to enjoy. Look at the pictures several times a day. See yourself becoming your dream and living the life you want to live.

Dream Big

Who snatched our aspiration to be in charge of our lives? Who hampered our desire to go as far and as high as our spirit and character could take us? The govern­ment? Corporate America? Our boss? Our friends? Our family? Television? Laziness? Procrastination? Disorganization? Low self-esteem?

Some may have forgotten how to dream-or never learned. Others may just watch visionaries build their dreams - and think it's impossible to have what they have. A few people walk around saying, "What's happening? Who's dreaming?"

We surrender our dreams for many reasons. Whatever the cause - social or psychological - a meager number of people know how to dream big. That's sad, because we limit our potential when we won't allow our­selves to dream. No matter who (or what) caused us to relinquish our dreams, we - each of us - have the ulti­mate responsibility for deciding to dream again. Our desire determines our destiny.

All of us would do well to open our minds to our dreams-and to expand our dreams. Why? Because the bountiful dreamers, and those who plan and organize their dreams, have a life of abun­dance.

They are fulfilled. Productive. Enthusiastic. Energetic dreamers look forward to each new day. Dream builders have all the money they want to help others. They contribute to society and savor the fruits of their labor. They have time to enjoy life. Time and money give them lifestyle-the freedom to take vacations when­ever they want, the opportunity to choose how to live their lives, the privilege to raise a family without restraint, and the capacity to develop their talents.

Prodigious dreamers have the greatest motivation to plan and organize their lives to fulfill their dreams. Message: Dream liberally! Dream lavishly! Dream luxu­riantly!

If you've lost your dream, resolve to change now. Expand your vision. Open your mind to unlimited possi­bilities. Learn to dream again. Success and fulfillment always begin with desire.

Become Unglued

Avoiding enmeshment requires that we assume responsibility for ourselves while rejecting responsibility that belongs to others. While we can control our thoughts and actions, we cannot control the thoughts and actions of others.  When we rescue others—when we enable others—we prevent them from learning from their own mistakes—we retard their emotional and spiritual growth.  When we assume responsibility for another’s mistakes or bad choices, we cultivate a dependency that prevents the other person from growing emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  Because they have never had to suffer the consequences of their behavior, dependent people lack a sense of competence or completeness.  Without a sense of identity, they define themselves solely by their relationships.  To put it more simply, we turn people into babies when we try to rescue them from their mistakes.

Truth Telling

Telling the truth requires a life lived without fear, self-delusion, omnipotence, grandiosity, self-seeking and self-pity.  We lie to others and ourselves out of a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect our own sense of self-worth.  Lying is an attempt to circumvent legitimate suffering and, hence, is productive of mental illness.  There are two types of lies: A black lie—a statement that we know is false; and a white lie, a statement that leaves out a significant part of the truth.  Peck gives five rules for truth telling:

1)    Never tell a black lie.

2)    Never withhold the truth for selfish reasons.

3)    Withholding the truth must be based on the needs of others.

4)    Withholding the truth must be based on genuine love for others.

5)    Withholding the truth must be based on helping others grow emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. 

In short, there are very, very few times when lying is justified.