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Monday, September 12, 2016

Time Passages


North of Taos the Alamosa Valley flattens the land west of Highway 38. In the distance across the sage brush desert one can see the beginnings of a cut sliced by the Rio Grande. The gash deepens as the River's icy knife chilled from the mountain snow carves through soft, volcanic rock forming the Grand Canyon of the Rio Grande. The narrow canyon walls tumble and twirl the river into Class IV & V rapids.

Several years ago my son, Brad, and I took a raft trip down this twisting canyon known as "The Box" by river guides. Just before we entered the most treacherous part of the river our guide steered us to the shallows where we paused to receive his safety instructions. He told us what to do if we got caught in an undertow or a hydraulic; how to sit and lean through the narrows--and "for goodness sake don't fall out of the raft here."

Not a second after we left the shallows our raft hit a bone jarring rock. I tumbled backward. My upper torso was in the river; a safety rope kept my legs inside the boat. The river undercurrent frustrated my efforts to pull my upper body into the raft. Brad braced himself, grabbed my life jacket with both hands and yanked me aboard.

Within a millisecond rapids plummeted our raft. Huge boulders flew by. Spray soaked us. The guide shouted instructions that we couldn't comprehend over the river roar. Then, suddenly, we were through. The river had sucked us into turmoil and then spit us into tranquil waters.

As we paddled the placid water my thoughts were on my son. When he was five I carried him on my back up the rocky cliffs of New Hope Creek near Chapel Hill, North Carolina. We took our first raft ride together down the French Broad in West Virginia when he was nine. He had questions and wanted help with his life jacket, his paddle, his safety gear. I was his protector. He looked to me for strength and support. And now in a blink of an eye I had become dependent on him. He had rescued me from a concussion--or worse.

Our raft trip completed we rode up the canyon road to Taos in the Mountain River Adventure bus. Wet, tired, thirsty, and hungry, I looked back at my son sleeping peacefully, a slight smile of his face. I remembered, then, carrying his grandfather dying from leukemia from bed to bathroom. He who had once carried me when I was a babe had become too frail to rise from bed without my help.

From grandfather to father to son life flows at rapid river speed. We can better enjoy the trip when we ride with those whom we trust and love.




Phrases to Improve Communication


These phrases may help close a deal. Get a raise. Get a date. Improve relationships in a marriage. Bring you and you rebellious teenager together. Help a committee agree on a plan of action.

1. What prevents?

  • What prevents us from getting together?
  • What prevents us from agreeing with each other?
  • What prevents us from closing this deal together?
  • What prevents us from talking with each other for 15 minutes everyday?
  • What prevents us from having a weekend together away from the kids every two months?
  • What prevents us from ending meetings 10 minutes before the scheduled time?
  • What prevents us from having coffee together?
2.  What causes?
  • What causes our inability to understand each other?
  • What causes our inability to go for coffee together?
  • What causes our inability to agree on a curfew time?
  • What causes hesitation in our getting together on this contract?
  • What causes us to have meetings every day?
  • What causes us to have long meetings?
  • What causes us to continue arguing on this issue?
3.  What would happen if?
  • What would happen if we agreed on this contract together?
  • What would happen if we went out for coffee together?
  • What would happen if we got together at a specific time to talk for 15 minutes everyday?
  • What would happen if we agreed on a curfew?
  • What would happen if we as a committee decided to agree on this action plan?
  • What would happen if we let you have the car keys every Saturday?
  • What would happen if we decided on a specific time for doing homework?
Finally:
  1. What prevents you from using these suggestions?
  2. What causes you to hesitate to use these phrases?
  3. What would happen if you used these techniques?

Friday, September 9, 2016

When Disaster Strikes

Trees snap. Rooftops sail through the air. Cars tumble. Walls collapse. Water engulfs the land. A hurricane tears the shore asunder. An earthquake swallows cities. Terrorists threaten civilizations.

We will be tested. Our lives filled with prestige, power, possessions, ease, and comfort can suddenly be assaulted. Through no fault of our own, we can lose everything.

When we suffer loss our utmost trial may not be pain and misery, but, instead, our supreme challenge may come from trying to understand why God allowed us to suffer.

Until calamity plagues us we think we know all the answers. When disaster strikes we realize that our knowledge is like a like a drop of water in a vast and tumbling sea.

Only God knows exactly why things happen as they do. God, omnipotent and omniscient, may allow tragic events to unfold in ways that we fail to understand:

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowlege of God!
How unsearchable his judgment,
And his paths beyond tracin out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God,
That God should repay him?
Far from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever!
                                                  Romans 11:33-36

When disaster strikes we can be comforted by God’s desire for our lives:
  • God’s intentional aspiration: that all of us would trust him, love and glorify him, and put him first in our lives.
  • God’s ultimate expectation: the redemption of man. Man returns to faith in God despite tragedy and hardship.  

To be in God’s will provides peace for three reasons: 
  1. We lose the fear of being alone and becoming overwhelmed. The dread of self-blame recedes. We consider tragedy and as an event that can bring us closer to God.
  2. In times of despair, discouragement, and defeat the love of God will give us hope in recovery. 
  3. He can give us courage, power, and the wisdom to soar, to surge, to rise above catastrophe. 
Human wisdom is always partial and temporary, but when we trust God, we will prevail. God has given us a spirit capable of forbearance and endurance.  


Sunday, August 28, 2016

Pilgrim Blessings for Us All


My good friend, Ron Angert, a Jew who converted to Christianity, has begun a walk on the Camino de Santiago. His trip has taken him from Blacksburg, Virginia to Paris via Atlanta, and on to Morocco. 

After visiting Rabat the capital of Morocco he is in Marrakesh, Morocco where he visited the Berber Museum, displaying a culture of which I knew nothing. 

From Marrakesh he plans to fly to Barcelona and then bus to St Jean Pied de Port, France from where he will begin his 770 km (478 mile) hike to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela, Spain, believed to be the resting place of St. James the Apostle.

Ron is going to post daily entries of his travels at https://theotherjew.blogspot.com/  

Already his blog has made me more refined and cultured, granted my refinement is just above an East Texas Big Thicket swamp. Most important the blog has provided and will continue to provide a spiritual lift.

Before he began his walk (known also as the Way) Ron's church pastor, Morris Fleischer, sanctified his trip with the Pilgrim Blessing found on the Camino:

As you follow the Way
May God bless you with discomfort at your own easy answers, half truths, superficial relationships, so that you will learn to live deep within your heart.

As you walk
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people so that you will fill your heart with the desire for justice, equality and peace.

As you carry your load
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you will reach out your hand to comfort them and change their pain into joy.

As you enter the Cathedral at Santiago
May God bless you with the foolishness to think that you can make a difference in the world, so that when you return home you will do the things which others tell you cannot be done."

May all of us on our Way to sanctification receive these blessings.

************************************************ 
Just after finishing this entry I read an editorial in the August 27, Wall Street Journal quoting a television address of Mohammad VI of Morocco who said, in part: 

I call upon [Moroccans living abroad] to be always among the first to defend peace, harmony, and coexistence in their countries of residence....The terrorists who operate in the name of Islam are not Muslims. They have nothing to do with Islam, and jump on the bandwagon to justify their crimes....



Tuesday, August 23, 2016

You Never Know What a Call May Bring


Two decades ago I gave motivational talks. Following 911 several of my presentations were cancelled thus ending my word-of-mouth marketing. A busy psychiatric practice and hospital duties drained the enthusiasm for rebooting. I was soon forgotten by meeting planners.

Somewhere along the way I lost a fourteen page booklet, The 3% Solution: Proven Techniques for Rising to the Top During Times of Change, containing pearls of wisdom that I had labored over for many an hour. I couldn't find the computer disk either. I combed the filing cabinets and storage bins, the closets and book shelves. No joy.

Heartbroken is too strong a word. Devastated–too melodramatic. Frustrated, perhaps, is the best word to explain my disappointment in losing valued material much of which hadn't been duplicated in other booklets or handouts I had developed.

Then Vance Proctor called. He had heard me speak 25 years ago, we figured. In rummaging through some old files he can across The 3% Solution and decided to look me up and call.

Vance's booming voice, cheery and optimistic, announced the Texan I had met a quarter of a century ago. We agreed that the Texas we knew then was not the Texas we know now. Because we can't hit life's pause button our memories become more special day by passing day. 

Soon we got around to the presentation of long ago. After I told Vance of my loss he agreed to mail a copy. It arrived today. 

Here's an ounce or two of the 3% solution:
  • Character Builders: Those Characteristics that Enable You to Love, Work and Enjoy life:
    • Altruism––earning your neighbor's love by inspiring good will, gratitude, respect and happiness through service to others.
    • Suppression––solving problems instead of ruminating about them.
    • Sublimation––channeling frustration and anger into productive work.
    • Anticipation––goal directed planning.
    • Humor––a twinkle-in-the-eye kindness to yourself and others.
    • Wisdom––by studying the scriptures and reading the classics we learn the consequences of bad behavior and the blessings of virtuous living. 
    • Integrity––the answers to three questions asked of you (from Lou Holtz):
      • Can I trust you?: Always do what is right.
      • Do you care about me?: Follow the Golden Rule.
      • Are you committed to excellence?: Always do the best you can in all that you do.
After receiving the package from Vance I wrote back, concluding with these words:

Thanks for responding to that  inner voice suggesting that you make an "out of the blue" phone call. Your call was not only a pleasure to receive but I got a bonus gift that I thought was gone forever. When we listen to that quiet whisper from the Holy Spirit miraculous events occur. 

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BTW: If you'd like to hear a funny talk loaded with stories and packed with useful information give me a call.