Cultivating the Christmas Spirit

The appreciation and gratefulness engendered by the Christmas season releases our senses to experiences of joy.  This childlike openness to life’s joy is known as the Christmas spirit, receptivity to the divinity of others and ourselves. 

Soon after C.S. Lewis, the literary scholar and children’s author, married Joy Davidman, his bride’s health began to fail from a malady that was soon diagnosed as terminal cancer.  Miraculously, a remission occurred.  As his wife’s recovery progressed, Lewis received congratulations from a colleague.  His friend suggested that God had answered Lewis’ prayers for a miracle.  Lewis replied: 

I don’t pray for miracles.  I pray because I cannot help myself.  I pray because I am helpless.  I pray because the need flows out of me, waking and sleeping.  Prayer does not change God.  It changes me. 

In the same way, the holiday season does not change things.  It changes the way we look at things.  Instead of appearing when we ask for it, or when we expect it, or when we pray for it, the spirit of Christmas flows out of us, waking and sleeping.          

The holiday season helps us see the kindness and gentleness in others.  We are more generous in giving, more liberal in praise.  It gives us compassion for the downcast, comfort for the mournful, mercy for the merciless, and blessings for the peacemakers.  The Christmas spirit makes laughter contagious and smiles sincere.

May this holiday time of year bring joy that extends beyond the season. May we stop worrying and begin living. Let us replace complaining with appreciation    Trade intolerance for acceptance. Transform selfish ambition into humble service. 

Instead of hoarding worldly things that have no enduring value let us pursue joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

Let us encourage the timid, help the weak, and be patient with everyone. May we find the divine that lies within us all.  

Contentment Habits

Intentional activity—mental and behavior changes to rise above our chromosomes and circumstances—can elevate our set point for joy. 

This is good news: those that cultivate certain habits can learn to live a joyful, contented life no matter what circumstances occur. 

After living through an any tragic event, survivors appreciate those values that make life worth living—love, friendship and an abiding appreciation for finding pleasure in the common hour.

            

Those that develop a plan for living a life of joy accept certain truths that argue against pop culture happiness:

• Material possessions may interfere with our getting that which is best for us. 
• Not everything that makes us feel better is good for us.
• Not everything that hurts is bad for us. 
• The idea that life must always be fair, easy and stress free engenders frustration, despair  
• The work of gathering and heaping interferes with a contented life.   
• Virtuous choices—choices that leave us with no regrets—allow us to put aside things we want that may interfere with obtaining things of lasting value.    
• Delaying gratification almost always provides worthwhile pleasures.

Are Lottery Winners Happier Than You or I?

Experimental psychologists investigating the possibility of happiness have uncovered the futility of pinning our hopes on any good fortune that comes our way. We tend to adjust our attitude when fortune shines down on us, quickly returning to our usual level of happiness. 

In our culture, there is a widely held belief that money solves problems. People think if they had more money, their troubles would be over. 

When a family receives unexpected money, they frequently learn that money can cause as many problems as it solves. 

A study of lottery winners showed that sudden wealth had no lasting effect on happiness. Months after their stroke of luck lottery winners were no happier than non-winners.           

• Bud Post won $16 million in the Pennsylvania lottery, but now lives on his Social Security check. His girlfriend successfully sued him for a share of his winnings. A brother tried to kill him for his money. Other siblings convinced him to contribute to losing business ventures. Bud spent time in jail for firing a gun at a bill collector. Within a year, he was $1 million in debt. (Advice to parents: If you want a wealthy son don’t name him Bud.) 
• Soon after winning $1 million in a lottery, Charles Riddle was divorced, faced several lawsuits and was indicted for selling cocaine. 
• Willie Hurt won $3.1 million. Within two years, he had spent his fortune on crack cocaine.  
• A Southeastern family won $4.2 million. They bought a huge house and lost the rest of the money helping family members pay off debts. 

Lottery winners affirm the belief regarding the distribution of wealth. According to folk legend, if all the money in the treasury was divided evenly amongst all US citizens within a year the previously wealthy would once again possess most of the money. 

The same situation seems to hold true for happiness. Psychological studies indicate that just as we seem to have a set point for wealth, we also have a set point for happiness. Through controlled experiments, psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD has explored ways to beat the genetic set point for happiness. 

According to Dr. Lyubomirsky if happiness resembled an apple pie, the flavor of that pie would depend on the following three factors:      

• 50% of the pie’s happiness depends on our genetic set point. Studies of twins and adoptees show that 50% of our happiness/unhappiness response can be explained by the way Mother Nature mixes the chromosomes we inherit from our parents. An upward swing in happiness eventually falls back to our happiness baseline. Likewise, a mind-messing downswing will  gradually return to our genetic set point for happiness. 
• 10% of the pie’s happiness comes from life circumstances. Our income, marriage, children, occupation, physical health and where we live contributes 10% to our overall chance to experience happiness. 
• 40% of the pie’s flavor develops from learned emotional and behavioral factors. How we act and how we respond to circumstances contributes 40% of our overall chance to experience happiness. We can learn to be happy whether in sunshine or rain, abundance or famine, threat or peace--even when we win the lottery.

Do You Want Happiness or Joy?

Happiness	Unhappiness	Joy
Red Lamborghini	Totaled Corvette with a $15,000 unpaid note	A walk in the park
Corner office in Petronas Towers	Windowless basement office	Contentment in all things
Night with a desperate housewife	Sexually transmitted disease	A wife of noble character
Executive power	Servitude	A willing and obedient heart
Fully funded 401-K	Bear market at retirement	Generosity
Fame and fortune	Harassed and helpless	Humble and grateful service
Tequila Sunrise	Hangover	A fruitful vine
Beauty and splendor	Unattractive and bitter	Righteous and pure
Intelligent and knowledgeable	Ignorant and apathetic	Wise and discerning
Superiority	Inferiority	Selflessness
Possessing worldly things	Craving, lusting, boasting	A virtuous life
Pride in accomplishments	Arrogance and hubris	Warm-hearted appreciation

What Is Joy?

Pretend you paid cash for your favorite vehicle—a Mercedes perhaps, or a Lamborghini, a Ford-150 maybe. You included every accessory you ever imagined--leather seats, a 22-speaker sound system, outside sound suppressing sonar. Jumping into your bright new car brings delightful happiness.

As you are driving out of the dealership, an out-of-control garbage truck crushes into the left side of your car, spilling smelly trash all over your shining exterior. Suddenly you are shocked, angry and decidedly unhappy. In a nanosecond your mood changes from elation to dejection.

This thought experiment tells us that happiness depends on happenings. When our life glides on silky waters as smoothly as a sailboat in a soft, summer breeze we radiate happiness. When our life resembles a busted flush we exude unhappiness.

Joy transcends happiness. Steady and certain, joy comes from the confident assurance that God loves us and seeks to help us act according to his good purpose. While happiness depends on happenings joy depends on the conviction that God strengthens us in our weaknesses even though his presence remains unseen.

Now comes the part that is hard to understand. Joy comes only with personal surrender. We can never have joy when we put ourselves first. Selfish ambition and vain conceit steal our joy.

A great paradox presents itself when we seek joy. Joy’s victory comes from surrendering our self-will to a higher power. The very self-centeredness that makes us need to surrender our conceit to God causes our inability to submit. 

If we are unable to turn our lives over to God what can we do? We can ask the Holy Spirit for help. When we seek the Holy Spirit's assistance he gives us the power to glorify God and enjoy him forever.

When we take time to listen, to help, serve and  encourage others we love like God. When we give our prayers, our gifts, our presence and our service for the betterment of others we love like God. God-like love brings joy, a joy that allows us to endure adversity without bitterness and abide prosperity without conceit.