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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Bringing Balance to Life: Time for Priorities

Those who apply themselves too closely to little things often become incapable of great things.
-- LaRochefoucauld

Many of us complain that we don't have enough time. False! All of us have the time. Instead, most of us waste the time we have. We spend all our time on insignificant things and have no time left for the noteworthy activities. We're too busy making a living to develop a lifestyle. 

A well-used time management rule says, Success depends on what you neglect. To get something important accomplished, neglect the time wasters, devote time to the significant.

Always follow the cardinal rule of time manage­ment: First things first. Early each morning make a list of those things to be accomplished that day. Review your goals. Next number your activities in the order of their impor­tance based on how those activities will help you accomplish your goals. Complete the first item first. The second, second.  The third, third. If you don't get to number four, no big deal. Avoid criticizing yourself if you fail to achieve everything on your list. Remember, you did the most important things first.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mQMmDFvkDU



Monday, April 6, 2015

Bringing Balance to Life: Setting Goals to Achieve Your Dreams

Goals aren't for everyone:

  • Goals are only for those who want to budget their time and balance their lives.
  • Goals are only for those who want time for their family and themselves while advancing their career as far as their talents will take them. 
  • Goals are only for retirees who want to have a balanced life so that they can enjoy the fruits of their labors. 
  • Goals are only for those who take the time to prioritize so that they can save time.
To achieve your goals they much be SMART: 
  • Specific--I am going to spend more time with Brad should be changed to I will spend 15 minutes with Brad each day.
  • Measurable--I am going to buy my first car should be changed to I am going to get a second job and save all that money until I can pay cash for my car. 
  • Achievable--I am going to be CEO of my company should be changed to I am going to be promoted by December 31, 2015.
  • Realistic--I am going to buy a $2M second home in the mountains should be changed to I am going to pay off my first mortgage by doubling my monthly payments.
  • Time focused--I am going to have the grandkids visit as soon as I clean this house should be changed to I will wash the dishes, sweep the floor, and change the sheets today so the grandkids can mess up the house when they visit tomorrow.
Most goal setters breakdown their desires into three categories: 
  1. Family, Spiritual, and Personal Goals
  2. Career (or Retirement) Goals
  3. Self-improvement Goals
Suggestion for Family, Spiritual, and Personal Goals:
  • How much time do you want to spend with your family?
  • How do you want to spend your time with your family?
  • How do you want to spend your leisure time?
  • How many hours do you want to spend relaxing?
  • How do you want to spend your time in spiritual pursuits?
Suggestions for Career (Retirement) goals:
  • How far do you want to advance your career in 12 months? 5 years?
  • What specific goals do you have for advancing your career?
  • How do want to enjoy your retirement?
  • What countries do you want to visit?
Suggestions for Self-improvement Goals (to retard Alzheimer's for retirees):
  • Read books that improve your attitude and people skills at bedtime to inculcate ideas into the unconscious and to dilute the negative in your life
  • Learn a foreign language
  • Learn to play a musical instrument
  • Work mind stretching puzzles
  • Exercise 30 minutes six days a week
  • Join Toastmaster to set your words and your career on fire 
Goal setting is one of the best ways to balance your life and find more time than you knew you had.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKP4cfU28vM


Thursday, April 2, 2015

Bringing Balance to Life: The Bigger the Dream, The More the Time

Who stole the American dream? Who snatched our aspiration to be in charge of our lives? Who hampered our desire to go as far and as high as our spirit and character could take us? The govern­ment? Corporate America? Our boss? Our friends? Our family? Television? Laziness? Procrastination? Disorganization? Low self-esteem?
Whatever the cause---social or psychological---a meager number of people know how to dream big. That's sad, because we limit our potential when we won't allow our­selves to dream. No matter who or what caused us to relinquish our dreams, we--each of us---can decide to dream again. 
Prodigious dreamers are fulfilled. Productive. Enthusiastic. Their desire determines their destiny. Visionaries are motivated to plan and organize their lives to fulfill their dreams. 
We can start to dream with a vision statement---a phrase or sentence that tells what you are about. Here's an example of a vision statement: "I live a life that brings encouragement, optimism and hope to all I meet." Note that the statement is in the first person, present tense indicating that the future begins now.
As you consider your vision statement, be certain you're using your own measuring stick---not your mother's, or father's, or your wife's, or your husband's, or your friend's. What do you want out of life? What's important to you? What are you about? To help define your vision statement write down the answers to these questions:
  • What three activities are most important to you?
  • What three activities give you the most enjoyment?
  • What three things do you want written on your tombstone?
  • What three things do you want to do for others?
  • What three things would you change about your life?
  • How would you like to be described?
  • What three qualities would you most like to see associated with your reputation?

Now study everything you have written so far.  Sum up, in one or two sentences, a concise description of who you want to be. Write your vision statement in the first person, present tense.
Formulating a vision statement and writing down those things you desire helps you focus on your plea­sures, your talents, and your bliss. Once you've expand­ed your vision, your expectations will direct you toward fulfilling your dreams. See yourself becoming your dream and living the life you want to live.
When you dream extraordinary dreams, some peo­ple---perhaps a family member, friend, co-worker, or even your boss---may try to take your vision from you. They will worry about you. They will try to steal your dream: "Don't get so excited, this might not work out." "You've got a good job; why do you want to change to something so uncertain?" "I know someone who tried that and they failed miserably."
Unfulfilled people are like crabs. Put crabs in a bucket and watch. If one crab attempts to crawl out of a bucket, the others pull the adventurer back down. People are like that. If you have a dream, they'll try to destroy it.
When someone or some event in your life begins to steal your dream, don't despair. Stand firm against the cold and penetrating wind of dissension and difficulty. Press on toward your dream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgzXwpePTTU

Monday, March 30, 2015

Bringing Balance to Life: An Introduction With Words and Music


Most of us, almost all the time, fight the battle for possession and power. We find ourselves trapped on the freeway of rush. We have a shopping-mall mentality, a lunch hour McDonald's appetite, a sales-meeting life's philosophy. Before we know it, perhaps even without wanting to, we find our­selves leaping into the fast-lane without consid­ering whether we have an option. 

All of us are busy, perhaps productive…and very tired. All of us sense that we were not made for the rush ­hour, freeway kind of life we frenetically live. We seek calm, not chaos. We know, innately, that simpler times create better times. 

Yet activity is necessary. We must produce---all of us---or we become drones of society. Inactivity destroys the zest for life. We were created for motion and mastery.

Nearly all of us blame our unbalanced life on the lack of time:
  • "Too many projects!"
  • "Family? I  never have enough time for them."
  • "All those business meetings do for me is put callouses on my rear end."
  • "These constant interruptions make me sick to the stomach."
  • "We didn't take a vacation last year because our business consumed us."
  • "Time for myself? You've got to be kidding!"
  •  "Committee meeting!?! Oh no!!! Not another one!!!"
  •  "Life style? What's that?"
  • "A nap? Considered it.......but no time for one."
  • "Spiritual life? Oh yes, I attend church for an hour just about every Sunday."
  • "I could have 48 hours a day and still couldn't catch up."
Is there a halfway point between burn out and rust out?  Yes. Balance is a choice. Life is balanced by being alive to both sides of our nature --- duty and serenity, work and love, activity and rest. 

For the next few months this blog will cover ways to bring balance to our lives  Practicing what's written here will help you:
  • Have time for your dreams to come true
  • Find time you never knew you had
  • Learn to set priorities
  • Organize your life
  • Learn to refuse worthless projects
  • Defeat procrastination
  • Organize efficient time-saving meetings
  • Give up the quest for perfection
  • Overcome indecisiveness
  • Balance your work and leisure time
  • Find time for romance
  • Cultivate a spiritual life that gives life meaning
  • Have fun every day
  • Use rest power
  • Improve family communication
  • Find time for your children
  • Rid your life of time wasters
  • Write bold, brief, empowering emails, letters, and memos.  
  • Defeat negative emotions that mess up your life
  • Rid yourself of bad habits that steal your time
  • Add more life to your years
  • Live one day at a time
  • Reduce paperwork clutter
  • Translate your dreams into achievable goals
  • Know your core values for a successful life
A friend asked that I add music to inspire us to lead a more balanced life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk3rS8Yh-SI

Saturday, March 7, 2015

How Cognitive Behavior Therapy Works

Addresses distorted, negative thinking
Teaches that emotions come from thoughts
Challenges Shoulds, Oughts, and Musts
Focuses on improving thoughts
Who specifically?
Where did you hear that?
What makes you think that?
When will that happen?
How do you know?
Are your feelings based on fact?
Will your thinking help protect your life and health?
Will your thinking help you achieve your goals?
Will your thinking help you avoid interpersonal conflicts?

Will your thinking help you feel the emotions you want to feel?