Instead of the puerile codswallop politicians inflict upon us they might consider modifying these cosmopolitan insults :
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli:"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- He had delusions of adequacy.----Walter Kerr
- He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.--- Winston Churchill
- He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.----Oscar Wilde
- I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.----George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
- Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one.----Winston Churchill, in response
- He is a self-made man and worships his creator.----John Bright
- I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.----Irvin S. Cobb
- He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.----Samuel Johnson
- He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.----Paul Keating
- To avoid being called a flirt she always yielded easily.----Charles, Count Talleyrand
- Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?----Mark Twain
- His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.----Mae West
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.-----Oscar Wilde
- He was like the pure driven snow but he drifted----modification of a Mae West comment
- Statistics are like a bikini: Exciting in what they reveal, crucial in what they hide.
- I once sent a dozen_______ (Republicans/Democrats) an email "flee at once, all is discovered." They all left town immediately----modification of a Mark Twain comment
- If you feed a starving dog he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a___________(Republican/Democrat)----modification of Mark Twain comment
- Presidential campaigns have become so expensive it costs a billion dollars to lose.----modification of a Will Rogers comment
- Campaigns guarantee the we have the best President money can buy.----modification of a Will Rogers comment
- Democracy ensures that we get the leaders we deserve.----modification of a Winston Churchill comment
